you did what to your hair???

so a discussion came up around friends about feminine standards of beauty... and one of my friends who is natural like me went on to say that she has surpassed european standards of beauty because she is no longer a victim of the creamy crack. now you may be wondering well she is right... well folks this is where i beg to differ... despite the fact i haven't permed my hair in the past 3 years {well august 21st makes 3 years.. lol} doesn't mean i'm exempt from these ideals of beauty. society doesn't frown upon natural hair... it frowns up "nappy" hair... below is a picture of *cough* "acceptable" natural hair...



i love amel larrieux and everyone should buy her albums... lol anyway... back to the story at hand... you see her hair... i think its crazy that many people tell others they shouldn't go natural if their hair isn't going to look that way... now i'm goin to show you a pic of what many people fear how their hair will look natural..



now i see nothing wrong with that style but, show this picture to a little girl she will say that this lady would need to comb her hair and that it looks terrible... show them the picture of amel larrieux and many little kids will exclaim how pretty her hair is... what is the difference between the two pictures... there is none! you can't control how your hair looks before birth just suck it up and accept it...

now i'm about to show a pic of me that i used to not like... i always saw something wrong with my hair... but, i look at it now and admire how pretty my hair is...



it saddens me sometimes when i realize how these subjective ideals of beauty affects me. no one ever wants say that about themselves... and it affects me now even more than ever now that my hair is loc'd. i must have my hair retwisted every 2 weeks or i feel like my hair is not acceptable to leave the house... and when i tell someone about my situation their response is always "that's how dreads are suppose to look" i don't have dreads... there is a distinct difference between dreads and locs... i give mad respect to any female that dreads her hair because she is TRULY not following conventional standards of beauty.. here's a working definition of both so you better understand how they are not the same...

Dreads

to refrain from using conditioners, brushing and/or combing. This method created dreadlocks that varied greatly in size, width, shape, length, and texture. The method has come to be known as "Organic," "Neglect," or "Patience". Similarly, "Freeform" dreadlocks are created by allowing the hair to weave naturally together into locks of varying sizes. However, freeform locks are patterned to a degree, as the hair is pried (not parted, just pulled apart in "chunks") into fairly determined sections after washing, as opposed to organic dreadlocks that tend to bifurcate and coalesce haphazardly.

Locs

can be formed by evenly sectioning and styling the loose hair into braids, coils, twists, or using a procedure called dread perming. Backcombing, twist-and-rip, and twist-and-pin are also some of the more popular methods of achieving dreadlocks. One can also utilize tool techniques such as a latch-hook (also known as interlocks). Once installed, the dreads are groomed every few weeks, typically once a month using either natural or commercial products.

so as you can read... dreads are the more live and let be kinda method... whereas locs people actually use product, wash their hair... and care for it...

it hurts me to say but, i unfortunately follow preconceived notions of beauty but, admitting it is the first step to recovery... now i'm not going to stop loc-ing my hair... i infact have developed a bond with each and every loc in my head and have a deeper understanding of what it means to be jamece. now i still will get my nails done, hair maintenance, eyebrows done... lol but, i understand i'm not doing this just for me... i'm doing it to fit in with society and follow their standards of what it means to be beautiful as well.

you can't fault me tho... it's only human nature... heck even animals do it... look at the peacock for example... all those pretty feathers are there just to attract the attention of potential suitor... some peacocks are born with bright, colorful big feathers... others not so much... but, just like the peacock we must learn to make do with what we have and be only what we can be... you...

well... i'm done on my soap box for now... till next time folks... one!

-mece<3

i'm me.....

hello all!!! now, i know i put a post up this morning but, i just wanted to get some stuff off my chest and blog from the heart...



my name is jamece renee hackett and i can only be her... i hate when people try to mold you into the friends that they want you to be... i can't do anything but be myself... no i will not fall for peer pressure... anything that jamece does is because jamece wants to do it on her terms... {sorry for speaking in third person i hate when ppl do that too.. lol}

i write in lowercase to show the world that i view everyone on the same playing field... i don't view any person above anyone else... i view everyone on the same standards...

i love to dance... may it be we are going out or we are in the house i'm going to enjoy myself...

i love being around good company... the best group of friends are the ones you can joke around with then have a deep intellectual discussion with them right after...

i love being spontaneous... i hate people who are sticks in the mud and just want to lie in bed all day watching tv... there's way more to life than that...

i hate when ppl make excuses for why they do certain things like "i smoke cuz im sticking to the man"... naw n**** you smoke because you enjoy the feeling of getting high... stop lying to the world and stop being an imaginary intellectual...

on the same note i hate ppl who are natural but, think they are better than everyone else because they did it... i decided to loc my hair for me... i didnt do it to put on a facade of being intellectually deep or to fit in with a group of people because at the end of the day if you don't do for you then there is no purpose...

i hate people who are greek and think they are better than everyone else cuz they pledged... at the end of the day work needs to be done... if you aren't down for that why do you have those letters...

i love me... everything i do is for the advancement of me... if you don't have the self love to want to motivate yourself how on earth can you be a role model to others...

i'm proactive... if there is a will there is always a way... don't make poor excuses of why you can't do something...

lastly.. work hard but, play harder... you only have one life to live... wasting it all on the chase for money is pointless... find your dreams and go after them because no one knows you better than you...

now i know i sort of went on a bit of a tangent but, i can be me... i'm hold fast to all these points i stated and more... come correct or don't come at all... i know many people in life only mission is to find that missing piece... their {s o u l m a t e} that will come when you discover who you are... people don't want to be around lost souls.. find out what you want for you and the rest will fall into place...

so as we live this thing call life remember you can only be you.... nothing more.. nothing less... don't let anyone change that and remember love thyself... one

-mece<3

I'm just me... - Ciara

all about me!

69 Confession Questions
These are my confessions...
1. The phone rings; who do you want it to be?	my mom
2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?	yes i do
3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener?	probably a talker...
4. Do you take compliments well?	yes i do... thank you... lol
5. Do you play Sudoku?	no
6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive?	yes
7. Do you like to ride horses?	i have rode a horse....
8. Did you ever go to camp as a kid?	yes i did... camp vacamas and camp mariah
9. What was your favorite game as a kid?	duck duck goose
10. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was married, would you go for it?	no... im never the one to break up a happy home....
11. Have you lied to get out of a date?	yes... lol
12. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you?	yes
13. Do you like to pursue or be pursued?	i like being pursued...
14. Use three words to describe yourself?	sweet, intelligent, down to eath
15. Do any songs make you cry?	yes....
16. Are you continuing your education?	unfortunately yes... lol Fall 2011 here i come...
17. Do you know how to shoot a gun?	yes
18. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you grabbed?	cell phone
19. How often do you read books?	no not enough
20. Do you think more about the past, present or future?	present
21. What is your favorite children's book?	the foot book by dr. suess
22. What color are your eyes?	brown
23. How tall are you?	five feet tall and three fourths of an inch
24. Where is your dream house located?	NY
25. Do you have a secret fetish?	i guess lips... lol
26. Have you tried sushi?	yes
27. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth?	yes
28. When was the last time you were at Olive Garden?	i want to say last summer... lol
29. When was the last time you were at Church?	its been a while but, march
30. Where was the furthest place you traveled today?	to work...
31. What was your favorite job?	vicky secrets and i still work there...
32. Do you like mustard?	yes i do
33. Do you prefer to sleep or eat?	sleep
34. Do you look like your mom or dad?	mom
35. How long does it take you in the shower?	5mins
36. Can you do the splits?	no
37. What movie do you want to see right now?	inception
38. If you could fast forward your life, would you?	naw
39. What did you do for New Year's?	dc clubbing with @tropicool
40. Do you think The Grudge was scary?	no....
41. Could you relate to a character in Mean Girls?	naw... lol
42. Do you own a camera phone?	currently no... {sadface}
43. Do you have an "ex box" with pics and letters from past lovers?	no...
44. Was your mom a cheerleader?	yes... lol
45. What's the last letter of your middle name?	e
46. Do you like your middle name?	yes i do...
47. How many hours of sleep do you get a night?	about 6
48. Do you like care bears?	they are ok... lol
49. What do you buy at the movies?	icee and bunch a crunch
50. Do you know how to play poker?	no
51. Do you wear your seatbelt?	only in the front seat... i kno bad habit...
52. What do you wear to sleep?	t-shirt and shorts
53. Anything big ever happen in your hometown?	yes... i'm from the city that never sleeps
54. How many meals do you eat a day?	2
55. Is your tongue pierced?	no
56. Ever meet anyone you met on myspace?	besides my friends.... no
57. Do you read myspace bulletins?	i did when i had one
58. Do you like funny or serious people better?	funny
59. Ever been to L.A.?	no
60. Did you eat a cookie today?	no
61. Do you use cuss words in other languages?	no
62. Do you steal or pay for your music downloads?	"steal" lqtm
63. Do you hate chocolate?	NO!
64. What do you and your parents fight about the most?	money
65. Are you a gullible person?	no
66. Do you need a boyfriend/girlfriend to be happy?	no
67. If you could have any job what would it be?	this job as a parole officer
68. Are you easy to get along with?	yes
69. What is your favorite time of day?	early evening...
Take this survey

i'm not a toy....

good afternoon folks!!! so i came across this poem after reading the autobiography of bobby seale and i fell in love with it... i feel it perfectly describes how i feel towards the male species at this current time... we aren't play things... and i am not toy... you can just use me whenever you want to... and i will not go after you if have done me wrong... i can't speak for all females but, i can speak for me... you can not play me and expect to get away scott free... now i know your probably thinking that i'm crazy now... lol but, everyone knows that i am perfectly sane... lol so don't try that... but, just read the poem and share your thoughts below in my "i think" section... til next time loves

-mece <3



Burn Baby Burn
By La Belle Rouge

don’t you drop no sweet nothins
down into my blushin ear
there aint nothin you can say
that I wanna hear

more than fire on my red head
it’s arson of the soul
I could love you ‘til you’re dead
and you’ve lost all self-control

think you can cuff and dominate
my blazing hot desire
but Baby, you’ll get burned
if you play with fire

don’t wanna hear those little lies
you tell all the other girls
you’re in for a surprise
if you fall into my world

don’t use that “L” word
cause I know you really don’t
and don’t think the “F” word
cause we haven’t and we won’t

I’m tellin you right now
I’m more than just a pretty toy
put on this Earth, Mister
for some man to enjoy

you need to know just how I feel
Baby, or you’ll wish you knew
playing hide and seek.... no deal
aint playing lovers’ games with you

could dance a sultry tango together
under the streetlight after dark
do all the sexy things I do
and light your manly spark

not a place on my warm body
that wouldn’t give you an invite
not a place in your soul
my hot lips couldn’t ignite

you’re plenty old enough
should have already learned
play with a woman's fire, Baby
and you’re gonna get burned

heavy on the mind... heavy on the heart....

hello loves.... as you can see i am keeping my promise and yes i have been bloggin more often!!! {go me!} but, i want to take a stance away from the all the light hearted issues i've been discussing and actually talk about something that deeper... so please no negative comments.. i'm just being true to me now....

i feel society is taking a weird twist on what it means to be an adult. parents are getting younger again... people are growing up faster... youths have more responsibilities... the world is just in a crazy place right now... like take me for example... {i'm probably the poster child for growing up too fast... lqtm} but, from working two jobs... living all alone down here... very little family support... life can get sad and depressing... thats why i try to live each day to the fullest...



it saddens me when i see a small girl pregnant... and people just turn their noses up at her... no one wants to reach out and offer her support... heck i know how that feels and i've never been pregnant... try riding the BX14 with a toddler and an infant at 12 and see how people treat you... its terrible. we as society are doing this... we place an emphasis on sexual liberations and how money is everything... if all you tell a child is "sex sells" don't be mad about the outcome.

and with increasingly younger parent we now have this shift of parent wanting to relive their now missed childhood at 35-40 when then makes it hard for every party involved. take me for example.. my mom wanted to live her life that meant no teenage years for me... instead living the normal 13-18 lifestyle i was cooking dinner for a small family as if i had 4 kids of my own... that's #nobueno.... what sometimes happens in these situations is then one of the other children then themselves becomes pregnant and starts the cycle all over.... or worse the oldest child resent her family and leaves to want nothing to do with them... both are unfortunate scenarios...

i never knocked karrine steffans for the path she took in life... i actually could relate to her... we can't get mad at the cards life dealt to her... cause life has dealt me those very same cards... the only difference between the two of us... i just learned how to plan my hand better... and even tho she may feel she sexually liberated.. she isn't... she just continues to live the facade to make her feel her life is whole and complete...

whenever you see me deep in thought, i'm usually think how am i going to accomplish this... or how am i going to pay that... i tend to have alot on my plate but, i'm just good at masking it to u the public... even my closest friends rarely see me break a sweat... but, whats heavy on the mind always leads to extra pounds on the heart...



you always think... why was life played out this way for me and not everyone else too... why me??? you grow to understand that this rainy season makes you a stronger far better person but, sometime.... its depressing...

as i enter this new phase of my life... i'm going to help ease some of these pounds off both my mind and heart... but, i fear it may be here a few more years... i guess i can only hope to grow into a better person..